


Are We Gone or Just Going?

by jb_slasher



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Author Is Clueless, Community: 7_deadly_sins_, Drama Llama, Hospitals, Injury, Lapse In Judgment, Liverpool, M/M, Morphine Intravenously, Obsession, Seven Deadly Sins, greed - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-19
Updated: 2006-04-19
Packaged: 2017-11-10 07:33:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/463776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jb_slasher/pseuds/jb_slasher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Xabi isn't in the mood for good things.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Are We Gone or Just Going?

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt Greed over at LJ's 7_deadly_sins_ community.

Sami Hyypiä is what you would call an honest man, a modest man. He is generous, giving rather than taking. He is a good man; friendly, joyous, funny, inspiring. There are a lot of words one could use to describe the good things.

But Xabi isn't in the mood for good things. Right now, he wants to think about the bad things. Even good people make mistakes, even the good can do wrong. Maybe Sami doesn't see it that way, maybe he doesn't realize his own greed. Yes, even the good ones you think you know can give in and commit mortal sin. But Sami's greed isn't material. He doesn't want items, he doesn't want money. He doesn't want fame or publicity; he just wants to play football.

His greed? Centers around Xabi.

He can't get enough, always rings after him, doesn't give Xabi any space. You could say Sami is obsessed with Xabi, comes after him like a stalker. Xabi can hardly breathe anymore, with or without Sami around. He doesn't know how long he can live like this, feeling like a caged animal, knowing he can't go far until the call comes again: "Where are you? I need you. I need you now."

He can't take Sami's greed over him anymore; he needs to breathe free again. Sami used to be so considerate of him, but this? This is too much, this is going too far. Xabi is trapped, and as much as he thinks he loves Sami, enjoys being with him, he can't let this continue.

Even the good do wrong, even the good will pay. This needs to stop.

 

There are marks all over his body. Sami can't restrain himself and he licks, nibbles, bites, almost tears Xabi apart. It's a wonder he passes his medicals, but he does. Either the doc doesn't want to know or doesn't care. All the same to Xabi: Sami keeps biting and tearing.

Xabi just can't keep this up anymore. He can't hide the cuts; he's too tired to care, too tired to put up a fight.

And he falls. No one to save him from Sami's overwhelming greed. Can Sami not see what he's doing?

Xabi falls and there's no one to catch him. Not even Sami, even Sami's too late. There he is again when Xabi cries in the rain with a broken ankle.

"Get away, get away, you greedy son of a bitch!"

But Sami doesn't leave. He stays and Xabi keeps crying. He needs for Sami to go away. But Sami won't. Sami doesn't understand why he's not wanted, Sami doesn't see that he was the one who made Xabi jump through the second-floor window.

Right now, Xabi is at a point where he's ready to sacrifice himself to get away from Sami.

"GET AWAY!" he screams, angry and in pain.

The pain he can tolerate, the pain isn't too much, but it takes the ambulance fucking _forever_ to get there, and by the time it finally arrives, he's on the verge of consciousness.

"Get away from me."

They carry him in.

"Don't let him come. He can't come with me. He can't."

And they shut the doors and Sami stays behind and Xabi finally feels alone.

 

His shoulder hurts. The nurse says she'll get the doctor to check it. And that he has a visitor. Half an hour since he came here, and already someone's there. Well, it's not really hard to guess who it is.

"I want to see no one."

Especially not now, though they might not even let anyone in just yet. Which suits him just fine, since he's still in pain and why aren't the drugs working? He's not one to complain, ever, but he thinks it's getting to be a bit too much now, with the shoulder and the ankle. The doctor comes to check on him, examines his shoulder and says it's nothing to worry about. The nurse comes back with a syringe and sends him to sleepy-land with a nice dose of morphine.

 

When he wakes up, the room bathes in blue shadows and he's alone. He's glad of that; for once they're actually doing their jobs and listening to the patient. He's a bit disoriented, wondering if he's been out of it for two hours or two days. He checks the clock on the counter: 9.31 PM. He then notices there's no pain on his shoulder or ankle. Maybe they operated already, with Rafa's consent. He's been out of it all day and Rafa thinks about the team, always what's best for the team, and right now that's a surgery for Xabi.

"Mr. Alonso, you're awake."

The oddly perky nurse - not a fan, he hopes - comes in with another syringe.

"The operation is scheduled for tomorrow. Now, you must rest, Mr. Alonso."

A prick of the needle, and he's out of it again.

 

_and Xabi's in his embrace, his head against his shoulder, in strong arms. in the arms of an Adonis from mythology, against a strong chest, in arms that are there for the sole purpose of protecting Xabi. this Adonis is Sami and Xabi is not scared of anything, not even surgery. no matter what happens, Sami will always be there._

_"such soulful eyes. i adore those eyes of yours. they tell me all."_

_no matter the greed, maybe it's a good thing after all._

 

When he wakes up again, it's dark, darker than before. The red dials of the clock tell him 3.27 AM.

It was a good dream, one of those that leave you with a good feeling for the rest of the day. The thing is he's awake too early and if he goes back to sleep, he'll lose that feeling. Such a lovely, healthy, _good_ feeling that he doesn't want to lose, so he stays awake and lets that feeling just be. If he over-thinks it, he'll consume that rare feeling and he's not ready to lose it.

It's been a long time since he was this happy, such a long time since he last dreamed of anything that wasn't about Sami's greed or that didn't leave him with a feeling of suffocation or entrapment. It's a wonder he's survived this long, it's a wonder Rafa's let him play this long.

About fucking _time_ he got sane again.

So fucking long since he felt clear, too _fucking_ long.

 

"Mornin', Mr. Alonso."

A different nurse, older but almost as cheery as the other one.

"How're we feelin' this mornin'?"

"Fine, thank you very much," he coughs up with a dry throat and no recollection of falling asleep.

"I'll make sure to get you a cup o' tea before your operation."

So bright and perky it's almost contagious.

"Thank you," he manages to smile and realizes there's no pain. He didn't see a syringe but, then again, he didn't wake up until the nurse told him good morn. It won't probably be long before the pains start again but Xabi hopes to stand them until anesthesia. He gets his cup of tea like she promised and not long after they're wheeling him out the door.

 

He wakes up in the recovery to a hand gently holding his own. At first he thinks it's Warnock but after a moment he realizes it's Sami.

His first thought?

Is not that he's afraid.

It's the fact that he's missed Sami. After all this, he's still missed Sami with every fiber of his very being.

"Hey. You were out for a long while. Welcome back."

Nothing about the other day, nothing about him having lashed out at Sami. Like he understands why Xabi did it, like he was expecting it, was testing Xabi, was just waiting for Xabi to crack.

"They fixed you."

Like Xabi was a broken toy.

Suddenly, he's afraid of Sami's greed.

All. Over. Again.


End file.
